Living In A Nightmare
by SparkleInTheSun
Summary: I was only a child, and life was a nightmare.. it still is." Shelby never went back to Horizon, Walt got better and everything got worse. Will Shelby ever go back to the only safety she knows? & If she does, will she be the same person that left?
1. Trailer

"_Can I go back now Mum?" _

"_No, I still need you Shelby. You can go back to school, but this is your home. Not Horizon." _

_**She wanted to go back to the only place she called home, the only place she could be safe. **_

"_You touched her?" _

"_I'm sorry Kitten, it won't happen again." _

"_You promised!" _

_**He broke his promise, will she keep hers?**_

"_He's going to be taken off the oxygen, he's going to be fine! Isn't it great?" _

"_Yeah.. great..." _

_**He managed to get better, but will anything else get better?**_

"_It's okay kitten, I am here now, no need to cry anymore. Everything is going to be okay." _

"_Please don't..."_

_**Everything got worse. **_

"_Don't do it Shelby, don't let him win." _

"_I can't do this anymore.." _

_**Will she make it through this?**_

_**Or will she run again?**_

"_You can't leave me with him..." _

"_I don't want to but I don't think I can stay here..." _

_**Will she ever return to the place she calls home? **_

_**Or will she have to stay in her own personal hell?**_

_**And if she does go back, will she ever be the same person they all remember?**_

_**Find out soon in **_

_**Living in a Nightmare**_

_**By **_

_**JJShelbyRikki**_


	2. Home, Sweet Home

**Chapter One**

**'Home, Sweet Home'**

Shelby looked around at her old bedroom and sighed, she had been up for hours, sitting up in her bed with her blanket tightly wrapped around her, jumping at the slightest creak in the house, wondering if he would make it to her bedroom tonight. She kept telling herself that he will ill, he was too sick to even think about doing anything to her, wasn't he?

She shook her head and wiped away the tears falling down her face, he couldn't get her, it was going to be okay.

"Shelby wake up!" She groaned as she got out of bed and stumbled out of her bedroom door, day one back home and already it was as though she had never been gone.

"I have to go to work, I need you to take this up to your Dad..." Shelby laughed and interrupted her Mum,

"That man is not my Dad."

"I don't care right now, just take that up along with his medication. I need you to do some chores, and do whatever he wants. Be nice Shelby, he is very ill. Now I have to go, come on Jess." Shelby looked down at the list in front of her and sighed, since when had she become a slave to the man she hated, the man she grew up calling a monster?

"Kitten!" She gripped the paper tight when she heard the all too familiar nickname and gritted her teeth, this was going to be a lot harder than she thought. She grabbed some of the pills her Mum had set out and then put them on the tray along with the rest of his breakfast.

She thought about how easy it would be to kill him, knowing that way she would never seem him again. She would never see her friends either, she would be in a prison, and even she knew she didn't belong there. Shelby frowned when she entered his bedroom and looked at the fragile looking man in the wheelchair. She stared at the oxygen tank; The only thing keeping him alive right now, and quickly looked away from it, afraid of her own actions.

"Thank you so much Kitten." He smiled at her and then tapped his lap,

"Come and sit with me." Shelby shook her head,

"I have a lot of stuff to do..." She gulped loudly and looked around the room, shaking with the fear of just touching him,

"I am sure your Mum will understand, I will tell her you kept me company. Please Kitten, I missed you."

"Don't you think I am a little too old for that sort of thing?" She looked down at the ground as tears strung her eyes,

"I don't think you'll ever be too old to keep me company.." He tapped his lap again, both of them jumping when the phone rang loudly.

"I should get that." Shelby muttered as she ran out of his room and towards the phone, she was scared of someone who couldn't possibly hurt her in this state, she was terrified of him in fact. She wiped away the tears falling down her face and answered the phone, glad to even hear a sales person on the other end, almost thanking her for saving her from him.

"Kitten." Shelby looked up from the ironing and towards the stairs, what did he want now?

"What?" She shouted up, harsher than she intended.

"I need some water..." He sounded so weak, she would have laughed if she wasn't so scared of him, the roles had reversed, he was the weak one and she was strong. It was what she always wanted, but it didn't feel as good as she thought. She was still weak, she was still a scared little girl, and he was still that horrible monster of her nightmares, nothing much had changed. She was just his little slave, doing everything and anything to please him, he was still in control and she knew that. They both knew that.

Shelby bit her lip when she placed the glass of water in his hands and took a large step back,

"Anything else?" He shook his head and then smiled at her,

"I can't wait till I am better again, I want to show you how much I missed you." Shelby shook her head,

"I don't want to know..."

"Yes you do, you love our special time together Kitten. I know you do, I could see it in your eyes and you want some time now."

"No... don't do that... don't make out like it was all on me.." Shelby turned away from him as the tears ran down her face,

"I could always have special time with Jess..." She turned around quickly and shook her head,

"No... please don't touch her, please. I will do anything. I am so sorry." She wiped away the tears from her face and walked up to him, muttering sorry over and over again, knowing she would do anything to save her little sister from the same fate. He smiled and then put his hand on her face,

"Good girl, give me your hand." Shelby nodded and slowly handed over her shaking hand, not bothering to hide the fear in her eyes. She watched him as he moved her hand to his lap and left it there, she closed her eyes and tried to think of something else, someone else. She could just see him smile, he had got what he wanted. He always knew how to get to her, he always knew what to say. She took a deep, shaky breath and opened her eyes, looking at him and then moving her hand away,

"I really do have some stuff to do..." She said as she got up and turned around, not wanting to look back at him to see the satisfaction in his face, not wanting to remind herself what a whore she was.

She ran back down the stairs and looked around the kitchen for something to do, something to distract herself from the pain that was her life. She thought about calling Sophie, or Peter but then she would have to explain why she felt the need, and she couldn't do that. She looked at the clock and smiled, it was only ten minutes until Jess got home, she would be safe then, both of them would be safe. Until night time....


	3. Promises are made to be broken

**Chapter Two**

**'Promises are made to be broken...' **

Shelby slammed down the tray of food in front of Walt and went to walk out before he could say or do anything to her. She had been home for over a week now and nothing was getting any better, he hadn't touched her but it was the constant comments, she despised him and she hated the fact she was the one who had to look after him. He had never looked after her, he had made her the person she was today, he had ruined her, and now she had to make him better. He had nothing for her except make sure she had no life after him, he ruined everything about her life and now she had nothing.

She sighed as he grabbed her arm as she turned around and looked at him, "I do have other stuff to do you know." She said as she rolled her eyes, pulling her arm away from him and folding them over her chest,

"Please Kitten, I need help with some of this.." He nodded towards the food, Shelby looked at him disgusted,

"You have hands don't you? Do it yourself, I am not your slave." Shelby slammed down the medication into his hands and then grabbed the cup of water from the bedside table,

"Take them, wouldn't want anything to happen would we?" She muttered sarcastically, he sighed and then took them slowly, Shelby looked over at his oxygen tank and frowned, she always thought about how easy it would be to kill him, she would never get caught, it would be so easy... so clean... She sighed knowing she wouldn't be able to go through with it no matter how much she hated him.

She stayed with him while he ate, wishing he would choke with every bite he took and looking around every time he took another bite, disappointed he hadn't died yet. She watched him as he closed his eyes and smiled at her, she never noticed her younger sister standing behind her, not until she spoke.

"I wish he would die..." She turned around and looked at her sister confused, wondering what made her say it, shaking her head as she looked at the look in her own sisters eyes, looking back at the man who had caused that same look in her own eyes all those years ago. She could feel the tears stinging her eyes already as she put her hand on his shoulder and shook him, she gritted her teeth and shook her head, all her fear for him gone as she looked him straight in the face,

"You touched her?" She looked behind her for a moment, Jess was just standing there with tears running down her face and looking at the two of them,

"I am sorry Kitten, it won't happen again." He croaked, Shelby nodded and then stood up, anger overtaking all fear she had, ready to rip the oxygen off him.

"You promised!" She almost shouted at him, lowering her voice for Jess's sake, he nodded and looked down at his hands ashamed,

"She reminds me so much of you, but now you're home. I will love you and you only now Kitten, it'll all be okay." He reached out to touch her face but she slapped it away and took a step back,

"You're going to pay for this..." He shook his head and looked after her as she ran after her sister,

"You knew and you left me!" Jess slammed the door behind her and grabbed her suitcase, not looking up at her sister when she walked in,

"I am so sorry, he promised me."

"Are you stupid?! Promises don't mean anything to people like him," Jess ran to grab some clothes as tears ran down her face, Shelby shook her head and touched her sister lightly on the arm,

"Don't run, he will pay for this."

"You ran, what makes you so special?"

"I can get you out of here, please don't go onto the streets. I promise... I can make it better." Shelby angrily wiped away the tears falling down her face as she tried to keep her voice strong, she couldn't break now, not in front of her sister, she was more important. She wasn't allowed to cry just yet.

"What do you mean?"

"I know who your Dad is, I can get you to him. I know he wants to see you, I will make sure you're safe again." Shelby was desperate to get Jess to forgive her,

"Just get out and leave me alone! You left me with him, nothing you do is ever going to make up for that. You knew what he did and you knew what he was like! And you just left, I hate you." Jess pushed Shelby out of her door and slammed it behind her as she dropped herself to the floor, crying and huddling into a small ball.

Shelby looked at the door for a moment before running down the stairs, she looked around the kitchen and grabbed the pills on the counter. How easy would it be? Nobody would find her, not for another few hours when her Mum came home from work and by then it would be too late. She sighed and chucked the pills across the floor, it was too clean, he didn't deserve that. She frowned and emptied the knife drawer, smiling at the large butchers knife and grabbing it, she looked at the knife as it glinted in the moonlight and stumbled back against the wall. Sliding to the floor, she finally allowed herself to cry, knowing nobody was around. She held the knife up and rolled up her sleeves, shaking as she thought about what she was going to do, she just wanted to feel better and this would help.

She slid the blade across her wrist, avoiding any veins for the first time, just wondering what it felt like. She watched as the blood fell down onto the kitchen floor, she felt calm for once, she felt like everything was fine, it felt so right. She smiled a little as she thought about Juliette, thinking about how this must have been what she had felt like every time she cut herself, it made her feel so much better... the world no longer seemed to have as much evil in it. Shelby felt good for the first time in a long time. She looked down at her wrist and smiled at the blood, he would get his punishment and this was hers. She left her sister, and he had hurt her sister. She was going to make sure he could never touch her again and then she would deal with him, she sighed as the got up, putting the knife in her pocket for a moment and slowly walking up to the phone. She picked it up and started to dial the number she had longed to dial all those years ago,

"What do you think you're doing?"Shelby dropped the phone to the ground and turned around, wide eyed and scared,

"Phoning a friend..." She whispered, her Mum shook her head and looked at the mess Shelby had created while she was at work, she looked down at the blood on the floor and the deep cut on her daughters wrist. She shook her head and laughed,

"You're weak, you're home now Shelby, you belong here, deal with it." Shelby looked at her Mum in shock, wasn't she going to ask what happened? What was wrong? Did she hate her that much?

"I don't think Jess should be here anymore, she doesn't want to be here anymore..." She took a step towards her Mum who just glared at her,

"What would you know? You just left us and came back a week ago, don't think you know everything."

"I know when someone is upset, I know when something isn't right. I caught her trying to runaway today, do you want her to end up like me? Let her go for a while, just until she is back to herself, please..." Her Mum nodded and bit her lip,

"Fine, I will phone him tomorrow but only on the condition that you don't run. You stay here, okay?" Shelby gulped and then nodded, silently agreeing that she couldn't go back to the life she had before on the streets. Walt couldn't do anything to her anymore, he was too ill to do anything. She sighed and looked down at the floor, hiding the knife in her pockets as she turned around to walk up the stairs,

"I want you to clean up tomorrow." Her Mum muttered as Shelby nodded and walked into her bedroom, closing her eyes as tears fell down her face. She never cared about her, she never would. She sat down on her bed and took the knife out of her pocket, slipping it under her pillows she smiled, just knowing it was there made her feel so much better.

She was strong on the outside, she wouldn't let anyone know what she did. But on the inside she was still that scared little girl, she was terrified in fact. Shelby knew she was weak and she would never let anyone else see that, she wouldn't let anyone get in anymore. Nobody would get close, it would be better that way. Better for everyone.


	4. Goodbye, you're safe now

**This is just a short chapter to say goodbye to Jess! The next one will be a lot longer, so just R&R =] **

**Thank you! **

**3**

"I told you I would protect you and I am sorry I couldn't do it any sooner." Shelby whispered to Jess as she stood in her bedroom doorway, not daring to go in, not wanting to upset her again. She nodded as she packed her suitcase, finally looking up at her older sister after what seemed like forever, and smiled.

"Thank you so much, I know it's already happened, but I don't think I could handle anymore..." Shelby slowly took a step in and smiled, the smile never reaching her eyes, wishing she could get out of this place as well.

"Are you going back to Horizon?" Jess took a step towards her sister and wrapped her arms around her neck, Shelby tried to nod as she held back the tears, wanting to give her little sister false hope that she would be okay as well,

"Soon probably." She smiled when they both pulled away,

"Your dad fought for you in court, he lost, so don't be too hard on him." Shelby whispered to Jess, who nodded and grabbed a photograph of the two girls from her bedside,

"You will come and see me right?" Shelby nodded and looked at the photograph, it was before Walt started hurting her, she was happy, she was normal. She sighed and tried to stop the tears from falling down her face, she looked at the little girl who was barely recognizable in the photograph and touched her face lightly, she was better than the teenager she turned out to be. Walt had messed everything up for her, she wanted to dance, she wanted to be a star on the stage, she had wanted so much and he had ripped it all away from her and she would never be that same little girl again. She would never get the second chance to become everything she had wanted to be back then.

"What are you thinking about?" Shelby looked at Jess and shook her head, she wasn't as young as Shelby was the first time, she would be okay hopefully, she could still have a chance of becoming everything she ever dreamed of,

"I was just wondering what I would be like if he hadn't touched me." She whispered and put the photograph in Jess's suitcase, she could see Jess nod out of the corner of her eye and sighed,

"You were very different, but I remember both Shelby's and sometimes I can see her in you. I don't think much would have changed..."

"I wouldn't have runaway, I wouldn't have been on drugs, I wouldn't have done stuff..." Shelby trailed off and shook her head,

"I would probably have been dancing still and have friends, and I would be happy. You still have that chance okay? So never give up, you promise me?" Shelby grabbed her sisters hand and squeezed it tight, desperate for her sister to never change, to never let that monster ruin two lives. Jess nodded and smiled,

"I promise, for you and for myself. I will make sure I am happy with dad, besides I am going to live in Florida, who wouldn't be happy?" Shelby nodded and wrapped her sister in a massive hug, never wanting to let go,

"When you come over we can go on the beaches and just relax." Shelby nodded and pulled away, looking around the bedroom and smiling,

"It's going to be weird without you to annoy me, but it's for the best." Both of them smiled and walked out of the room, ready to say their goodbyes before Jess's dad arrived to pick her up.


	5. Ruins

**Thanks to crazedchick & IcyGold for the reviews!**

**Chapter Four**

**Ruins**

"Can I go back Mum?" Shelby looked down at the floor,

"No I still need you Shelby. You can go back to school but this is your home, not Horizon." Her mum just shook her head and sighed before walking out of the door to go to work,

"Walt still needs you." Shelby nodded, not wanting to argue about him anymore. She watched as she walked out of the door, willingly leaving her daughter with a monster. She sighed as she grabbed his pills and breakfast and walked up the stairs, she had to make sure he didn't know how scared she was of him,

"There we go." She muttered and rolled her eyes as she walked into his bedroom,

"Don't go yet." He grabbed her arm as she went to walk out of his room and turned her around. Shelby felt herself shaking at his touch already and she tried to stop herself,

"I love you kitten." He smiled at her,

"Whatever." She whispered, trying to stop herself from crying in front of him, wanting to wait until she got into her bedroom or at least out of this room.

"Come here..." He tapped his lap with his free hand, she shook her head,

"Leave me alone." She said through gritted teeth as she yanked her arm out of his weak hands and walked out. She was stronger than him now, and that was all that mattered.

Shelby ran into her bedroom and slammed the door,

"Why won't he just die already?" She muttered to herself as she buried her head into her pillow and screamed, closing her eyes and thinking about her friends, her family, back at Horizon. This wasn't fair.

She wasn't okay yet, she wasn't supposed to be here. Shelby clenched her fists as she stood up and grabbed the knife she had hid in her room a few nights ago,

"I hate him." She whispered as she looked in the mirror,

"He ruined me, he ruined everything." She held the knife tightly until her knuckles turned white, and dragged it across her wrist, watching the blood fall, whispering over and over to herself how Walt had ruined her... made her dirty.

For a moment, Shelby forgot to put up her shield as she closed her eyes and lay down on her bed, she forgot about the strong Shelby she had become over the years. She wanted to start all over again, she wanted to be that safe little girl she remembered in her dreams, the girl smiling at her in those photographs. The dancer, the singer, the popular girl... everything she isn't now.


	6. Stolen Innocence

Chapter Five

'Stolen Innocence'

Shelby looked around the room, it was dark, she had spent the whole day worrying about this time, wondering when it would all start again. She could feel her whole body shaking underneath the warm covers, she looked over at the door, staring at it, hoping that if she wished it not to happen enough then it would work.

She pressed up against the headboard when she saw the doorknob turn and then she realized that it wasn't going to stop anytime soon, he was going to carry on until she left and never came back. She considered running away just then, knowing she would never be able to go back go Horizon again if she did. Knowing she would have to sell herself on the streets to even make it past a month out there. Knowing that although life was bad, it was only two more years till her 18th, two more years until she could go to university and finally be free of him and this thing she called a life.

"Hey kitten." Walt slowly walked in, still weak but yet stronger than her in every other way, Shelby closed her eyes and looked away from him, wishing she had the guts to kill him. She felt a tear roll down her cheek,

"It's okay kitten, I am here now, no need to cry anymore." He whispered to her as he wiped away the tear, she recoiled from his touch but it didn't stop him as he moved closer towards her, grinning like he had just won an amazing prize. Shelby opened her eyes, trying to understand what he was thinking,

"Everything is going to be okay." He said as he moved his hand underneath the covers. She closed her eyes again when she realized she wasn't going to be able to do anything to stop him, there was nobody to stop him, nobody to help her.

"Please don't..." She whispered to him, more tears fell down her face as she felt him slip off her bottoms, she shook her head.

"It's all going to be okay, I love you baby girl. You're my kitten, I love you. This is how people show love, remember?"

"I don't love you though." She winced as this received a slap across the face, she knew it was going to leave a mark, and what hurt the most was that she knew her mother would see the mark and not say anything about it.

"Be quiet, and just admit it, it's all going to be okay. Be a good girl." Shelby nodded slowly, wanting to scream as he pulled off the covers.

~ .. ~

A/N This is short, but I will make up for it in the next chapters.

And it will explain a lot in the next few chapters about how she reacts and stuff =D

Hope you enjoyed :)


	7. No Way Out

Chapter Six

'No Way Out'

Shelby looked down at her bleeding wrist and sighed, she remembered the first time it had ever happened and the last time it had had happened. She remembered when she ran away from him for the last time, how she promised herself that she would never let it happen again. She would never become the victim again.

She looked in the mirror across from where she was sitting and scoffed, he had got to her again and there was nothing she could even do about it. If she ran then her mother would bring back Jess, and she wouldn't do that to her. Not again. She wouldn't be selfish anymore.

She hid the knife again, watching the blood drip down her wrist and wondering if she would get away with murdering Walt. She shook her head at her own thoughts, she knew she wouldn't, especially not with her past – She could claim self defense but nobody would believe her, her mother would surely stick up for Walt, saying he never touched her. Making up some story about how he was in her bedroom that night to make sure she hadn't runaway like she had done so many times before.

No, there was no way out for Shelby this time. And she knew it.

She looked around the room and sighed, this was her own personal hell from now on. There was no going back to Horizon, no more hopeless dreams of going back there. No more friends, no more boyfriend, no more replacement parents. There was just her, Walt and her ignorant mother – a mother who chose to pick her husband over her two daughters.

Shelby bit her lip as she walked over to her bedroom door, slowly opening it and looking down the hallway,

"About time you woke up, come downstairs." Her mother smiled at her, walking quickly down the stairs into the kitchen, Shelby soon followed walking as slow as she could behind her mother. Knowing that Walt would be down there, sitting at the table, insisting she sat down next to him just like he always did.

"Shelby, come sit by me, your mother made us a wonderful breakfast." She shook her head, and looked down at the floor,

"I'm not hungry..." She whispered, looking up at her mother,

"I am going to go for a run." She smiled hesitantly at them both before walking out of the door.

~ .. ~

"Where's mom?" Shelby walked into the house, looking around hoping she wasn't actually alone with the man she hated so much.

"She went to work, she wasn't sure if you were going to come back again." He shrugged, and looked back down at this newspaper,

"I kind of had no choice..." She muttered as she rolled her eyes, walking past him to go upstairs,

"Come here kitten..." He grabbed her arm roughly, grinning up at her.

"I have to catch up on some stuff before I go back to school..." She could feel the tears stinging her eyes, as she tried to move out of his grip,

"Come on kitten, give your old dad a few minutes..." She shook her head,

"You're not my dad, old man." Shelby put her hand on top of his and removed his grip,

"Do I have to teach you manners young girl?" Shelby could feel her body shaking again as she felt his grip on her arm again, this time tighter. She shook her head, tears running down her face once she saw the look in his eyes – greed, determination, anger...

"Come with me, and don't think about pulling any stupid stunts." She nodded, looking down at the floor as he stood up, she didn't realize what scared her so much about him – was it the look in his eyes every single time he saw at her? Was it the constant nightmares he had given her since she was a little girl? Was it the fact that everyone else believed him and not her?

She watched him as he pulled off his belt, his hand still around her arm. Hot tears ran down her face, her whole body shook as she closed her eyes, trying to think of life back at Horizon, how great it was. She thought about how much Walt had changed her since she met him,she had gone from a sweet, caring, funny and confident little girl to a sarcastic, hostile, dirty whore. And now she was back home, with nothing and nobody left, her shield no longer up as she let herself cry freely. That shield she had created for herself since running away onto the street, as she got into Horizon they started to chip away at that wall she had built around herself.

"Bend over.." He grinned at her, an evil twinkle in his eyes, she nodded and did as she was told. She lifted up her top, biting her lip as the metal buckle met with her bare skin, she could feel the blood trickle down her back already. She watched as her tears hit the floor, the buckle hit her skin again, more blood dropped down her back, she heard some drop onto the floor. She didn't dare move, even though she knew he was done.

"Get up!" He finally said, she nodded, and tried to get up as slowly as she could., before turning around to look him in the eye.

"Up to your bedroom, now." He winked at her as she nodded, as she walked up the stairs and into her bedroom. He wasn't far behind her, so she looked in the mirror, trying to remember the person she was when she was with Daisy or Scott.

"Time for some fun kitten." She turned around and looked at the man in front of her, nodding slowly as she followed him over to her small bed.

And little did she know, the nightmare was only just beginning.


	8. Six Months Later

Chapter Seven

'Six Months Later'

Shelby looked at the door in front of her, it was that time again. Her mother had gone to work, and here she was, all alone with Walt. It wouldn't be long until he opened the door, she closed her eyes when she knew in that moment she was right. She thought about having a one day break, knowing it could never happen.

"Hello kitten, ready for some fun?" He winked at the girl in front of him, getting a sick pleasure out of seeing the tears run down her pale cheeks, hitting her bed covers which surrounded her shaking body.

He walked over to her slowly, taking off the covers and smiling down at her tiny body, he had to admit the weight loss she had been sporting lately was a turn on for him – even if she didn't want it to be.

"I will ask you again kitten, are you ready for some fun?" She nodded slowly, never making eye contact with the man she hated so much, she winced as his hand met her bruised and cut stomach as he lifted up her top and started kissing her exposed stomach. She shuddered, but still didn't move.

She closed her eyes when his face met hers and turned away from him, crying out in pain when his fist made contact with her face.

"Look at me!" She opened her eyes quickly, wondering if her mother was ever going to say anything about the bruises that covered her face and whole body, if she would ever mention the cuts she saw – some of them from her wonderful husband and some of them because of her wonderful husband. Shelby knew it would never happen, there was nobody there to help her from this mess. Shelby Merrick had finally broken down.

"Good girl, now then lay back and just play along okay?" She nodded slowly, doing as he said before closing her eyes as he had his fun, trying to think about her family back at Horizon, wondering what they were doing right now. Wondering if she would ever join them again.

~ .. ~

She woke up hours later, looking around the bedroom, wondering what happened. She saw her mother enter the bedroom and sighed,

"I brought you up your dinner, Walt said you weren't feeling very well." She looked at her daughter, noting the brand new bruises on her face, biting her lip before she said anything about them.

"I'm not hungry..." She muttered, looking away from her mother and out of the window, noticing it was dark again, she had been out for the whole day and he had just let her be.

"You haven't been hungry a lot lately.." She sat down on the edge of her daughters bed, almost missing the fiery, sarcastic Shelby.

"Do you blame me?" Shelby looked up at her mum, sighing and shaking her head angrily at her.

"Are you ever going to help me? Why don't you love me?" Tears ran down her face,

"I do love you, I don't know what to do."

"Just help me..." She whispered, closing her eyes as the memories of the past six months took over her mind.

"I will, I will think of something." She looked her daughter up and down,

"You need to eat something though, you're too thin."

"I told you before, I'm not hungry." Shelby said, angrily before curling up in a ball, ignoring the burning pain the sudden movement had sent through her body.

"I will leave it here just in case." Her mother said as she walked out of the door, biting her lip in worry for the shell that was left of her daughter, knowing she should have left Walt a long time ago, trying to ignore the love she still held for the man who hurt her daughter so much.

She sighed as she walked down the stairs, wiping away the tears that had fallen from her eyes as she walked into the living room to face her husband.

"How is she feeling?" He looked up at his wife, smiling as though he hadn't done anything to her.

"I think she took an overdose again." She looked down at the floor, noting the distant look in Shelby's eyes again, this had happened four times before in the past six months and she hadn't done anything about it before.

"Really?" He didn't seem surprised, she nodded and walked over to the phone,

"I think it's time we sent her back to Horizon, she isn't better yet." Walt sighed, knowing he may have gone too far with the fragile shell of a girl he had left upstairs, he nodded slowly, not really wanting her to go away but knowing when she came back she would be the same old Shelby he could play with again.

Shelby's mother quickly dialed the number she had memorized for so long and smiled when she heard the familiar voice she hadn't heard in six months on the other end,

"Peter..." She started, closing her eyes as she walked away from Walt to talk to the man who had helped her daughter come so far, only to have the man who made her who she was, take it away again.

"Shelby needs to come back, soon." She said, gripping the phone so tight her knuckles turned white,

"I should have called sooner but I thought I could handle it, I thought she would be okay again soon. She has taken four overdoses, my little girl is laying upstairs after taking the fourth one today, and I have no idea what to do." She closed her eyes, knowing Shelby would make it through again, the smell of sick was evident in the bedroom, but Shelby was damaged and she knew it.

"Please, can I bring her tomorrow?" She smiled into the phone, tears dripping down her face,

"Thank you so much." She whispered as she hung up and walked back into the sitting room, nodding at Walt before walking up the stairs to pack Shelby's bag.


	9. Unrecognisable

Chapter Eight

'Unrecognisable'

Shelby had no idea where she was going, she didn't even care as long as she was away from Walt even if it was for a few hours. Her mother looked at her for a moment, moving her hand from the wheel on top of her daughters shaking hand, trying to offer some form of comfort. Shelby smiled a little before turning back towards the window, wondering what it would be like to die – never to see Walt or anyone else ever again.

She closed her eyes, glad for the peace as she slipped into a light sleep, still aware of she sounds around her but deep enough that she could finally have some rest without worrying about waking up to a sweaty man on top of her.

She kept her eyes closed for the whole drive, too tired to even wonder where she was going, too sleepy to even care.

"Shelby, we are here." She finally heard, the car coming to a stop as she slowly opened her eyes, immediately recognising where she was. She could feel her whole body shaking as she sat in the car, her eyes wide with fear, knowing how much she had changed, how everything had gotten so much worse. She knew they would get everything out of her, and then they would hate her like they had before.

"Oh God, we never should have let her go Peter.." Sophie gasped as the car pulled up, barely recognising the girl in the front seat,

"Mrs Merrick." He walked over to her, knowing Sophie was right, he could see the bruises and cuts on Shelby's face, he had no idea what had happened to her and if there was a lot more but he knew that Shelby wasn't the same girl who had left six months ago.

"I didn't know what else to do, I should have brought her here sooner but I was too scared.. I am so sorry..." Tears ran down the woman's face as she looked from her daughter to the two people standing in front of her. Sophie nodded, putting an arm around the woman, leading her towards the cabin to sort everything out.

"Shelby.." Peter walked over to the car whispering her name as he opened the door, noticing the way her hands shook, the way tears fell from her once blue eyes, now turned a dark grey colour as the months of pain and sadness took over. He shook his head, hesitating in putting a hand on top of hers, almost pulling away when she jumped and looked at him, finally relaxing once she saw who it was.

"Come on, let's get you checked in. Is that okay?" He spoke softly, wondering how fragile she was, as she slowly stepped out of the car. Peter held back the gasp as he took in her whole appearance, the once curvy teenager was now horribly thin – looking as though she could break any minute now. Her long, blonde hair was dull and short, her skin was ghostly pale, fresh bruises covering most of her exposed skin – which wasn't much, she was wearing a baggy shirt that covered most of her body with a pair of jogging bottoms. He saw that the Shelby he had known was gone for now, and he would do anything to get her back.

"Do you need help?" He watched as she stumbled a little, trying to walk over to the cabin, he looked into her big eyes as she nodded, seeming so weak and breakable, he nodded, taking her arm in his as he held her upright, unable to stand on her own two feet. Peter couldn't believe that this was the Shelby Merrick he had seen and let go home six months ago.

~ .. ~

"What happened?" Sophie sat down across from Shelby's mother and shook her head, putting her head in her hands as she tried to think,

"I should have protected her from him, I didn't know what to do and I don't know why I didn't. I had to bring her here, you don't understand, she tried to kill herself for the fourth time last night and I realized then that if she didn't succeed soon, he would kill her for sure. She can't take any more from him, I didn't know what else to do." Tears fell down her face as she thought about how much Walt had taken away from her, wondering what Shelby would be like if it wasn't for him.

"You should have phoned us sooner, or took her out of the home. Or maybe even left him, it shouldn't have got this far!" Sophie was angry, Shelby was like a daughter to her, she saw a bit of herself in her when she had spent her time here six months ago, and she would do anything to see that side of the girl again.

"I know, but I couldn't cope on my own but then last night I realized she couldn't hope at all."

"Look, this time, if Shelby manages to get over this, you will have to leave him or at least send Shelby away so he can't get to her."

"I know, I am going to leave him, I promise."

"We are going to have to call the police anyway.." Sophie sighed, grabbing the phone, the other woman nodded, her head held low as she tried to think about Shelby when she was younger, ignoring the conversation Sophie was having on the phone,

"_Mummy!" An eight year old Shelby ran into the kitchen, grinning up at her mother as mud covered her face, holding out a worm in her small hand, _

"_Look what I found." She looked at her own hand, smoothing the slimy worm in her hand, giggling as he wiggled, _

"_Look at you! You're all messy, and what do we have here?"_

"_His name is Fred, Fred this is mummy." _

"_Nice to meet you Fred, Shelby you know you're going to have to put him back, it's cruel." _

"_I know mummy, and then I have ballet right?" She grinned up at her mother, excited for her favourite class out of the many she did, _

"_Yes, and then ballet, but first you need to get changed and clean yourself up."_

"_Yes mummy, I love you." She bent down, _

"_I love you too baby girl." Shelby kissed her on the cheek before running out to put the worm back in the garden. _

She watched as Sophie but the phone back down, tears in her own eyes,

"What did he do to her?"

"I don't know, I am usually in work. I know he hits her and stuff, I know he rapes her... I don't know the exact details."

"Okay, I am sure Shelby will tell us when she is ready. What about Shelby? We know about the suicide attempts, she will have to put her on suicide watch for her first week here and for some time after that, anything else we need to know?"

"She won't eat, she won't move out of her bed most days, she is so depressed. She cuts herself..." She sobbed,

"It shouldn't have got this far, do you think she will ever forgive me?"

"Probably, at the moment she is more than likely blaming herself for everything, she might be angry at you for a while after this but I am sure she will forgive you." Sophie tried to hide the shock of Shelby cutting herself and not eating, both sounding so unlike the Shelby she remembered and missed.

"Sophie, do you want to check Shelby and her bags now?" Peter opened the door, nodding at Sophie to leave so he could speak to the crying woman alone. She nodded, grabbing Shelby's bags that her mother had brought in with her, and walked outside.

"Oh God Shelby..." She whispered, unable to hide her shock like Peter had. Shelby looked down at the floor, trying to stand on her own, wanting to be the strong person everyone seemed to remember.

"Lets get you checked over, okay?"

"I don't want the nurse..." Shelby suddenly said, remembering the looks she had received from the old woman before, the look of disgust, disappointment. Shelby didn't know if she could take it again.

"Okay, do you want me to do it?" Sophie smiled at the girl, taking a step forward to pull her into a hug, tears falling down her face once she wrapped her arms around her body, feeling every single bone as she squeezed her.

"Yes please.." Shelby whispered, tears falling from her eyes as she closed them and accepted the comfort from someone other than herself for the first time in six months.

"Let's check your bags first..." Shelby nodded, following Sophie into the next room, wondering how long it would take them to make her go back to the normal Shelby, wondering if it was too late already.


	10. Saying Goodbye

Chapter Nine

'We Meet Again'

Sophie walked out of the room, leaving Shelby on her own for a few minutes, knowing she would need to process the thought of being back here. She realized that Peter was still talking to Shelby's mother, wondering if she was waiting to say goodbye to the daughter she so obviously abandoned these past six months.

"I will go say goodbye, thank you for everything." She said as Sophie opened the door, letting her through as she went into the room next door. Sophie shook her head, tears glazing her eyes as she looked at Peter,

"I had to check her over, she asked me to do it because she thought the nurse would judge her." She sighed, letting Peter wrap his arms around her,

"I tried to act normal, I tried so hard but you didn't see her Peter. He has hurt her in so many ways," She closed her eyes, trying to forget the memory of Shelby's weak, shaking body as she stood up, letting Sophie look over some untreated wounds.

"She is severely underweight," She looked up at him, handing over the folder she had been holding in her arms,

"82lbs? How could this happen in six months?" Peter looked up from Sophie's notes,

"She should be in hospital, she can't even stand on her own.."

"We ain't letting her go anywhere! We only just got her back, no hospital is going to help her like we can." Sophie finally let the tears fall down her face as she sobbed into her hands, relaxing into Peter when he stood up again and wrapped his strong arms around her.

"He hit her with the buckle end of the belt, there are scars and fresh marks all over her back and legs, she has various bruising, severe bruising on her thighs..." She took a deep breath,

"Cuts all up her arms, some of them self inflicted. Abrasions to her face, as you have seen. She hardly spoke to me, she wouldn't tell me anything when I asked her about it. We need to get her weight up first I think, hopefully she will open up to Daisy like she used to." She sighed, pulling away from him, trying to smile,

"She is going to be okay, she is back home." He nodded, going back to the notes and the file they had quickly been supplied with,

"Have you read the file?" He asked her, she shook her head,

"She has been to hospital eight times for various reasons in the past six months and nobody even thought to ask..." He sounded angry but he knew how good Shelby would have been at covering everything up,

"Broken ribs, two out of the four overdoses ended in hospital admission. She has been in hospital once for passing out, having to be put on a drip to get her sugar levels back up, she hit a vein while cutting twice." He sighed,

"She needs more help than last time, we never should have let her go home, I should have known this was going to happen."

"We can't blame ourselves, it's not going to help her... we need to make her better before we blame anyone..." She sighed, knowing she was right as Peter nodded.

"Come on, let's get her settled in, make sure everyone knows what is going on."

"You should go first, tell them what is going on, I don't want them reacting the way I did when she walks in; it won't make her feel any better." Peter nodded, walking out of there quickly, trying to decide what he was going to say to the rest of the Cliffhangers.

Sophie looked over the file for a few minutes, knowing that Shelby would need some time alone to think and some time to talk to her mother. She sighed, trying to give more time for Peter to talk to the group, knowing this would be hard for them to understand.

She sighed, looking at her watch before deciding that it was time for Shelby to say goodbye to her mother, and time to get her settled in – for the second time .

~ .. ~

Shelby looked at her mother, tears falling down her face as they said their goodbyes.

"I am so sorry honey, I should have protected you sooner."

"Why didn't you?" Shelby looked up at her, shaking her head,

"I don't know, I am just weak I guess." She put her hand on her daughters face, wiping away the tears that were falling down her cheeks,

"You could have saved me, I could have been the little girl you always wanted." She sobbed, looking down at the floor,

"I could have been so happy." She cried even harder when her mum wrapped her arms around her tiny body,

"I know, I am so sorry baby girl, I promise you when you come back home again he will be gone. I will make sure of it." Shelby pulled away, wiping the tears from her eyes,

"You promise?"

"I promise, I love you and Jess more than anything and I am never going to let a man get between that again. You're going to get the help you need and then everything is going to be okay again, I love you."

"I love you too mummy." She looked down at her daughter, surprised at the weakness in her voice, almost child-like. And then the knew that she had to stop protecting Walt, she had to make sure he never hurt another child again.

"I am going to make sure he gets put away this time, okay? And you're going to have to do the same."

"I don't want everyone to know, I don't want people to hate me, I don't want people to judge me.. " She whispered, her whole body shaking at thought of standing up in court in front of him and other people, having everyone judge her for what he did.

"Nobody will hate you, I promise you that everything is going to be okay from now on, he will get what he deserves once and for all." Shelby nodded, her eyes jumping to the door as it opened, revealing a red eyed Sophie.

"We need to get you settled in." She smiled lightly at the two, both of them nodding as they looked at each other, their arms around the other once more in a silent understanding.

"I will see you soon darling, I love you so much, I am sorry I let it go this far." She said once more, kissing her daughter on the cheek before exiting the room, Sophie following after her.

"Do you think she is going to be okay?" Sophie nodded and smiled,

"She will be, hopefully, it's going to take some time though but I am sure she will make it through."

"Thank you so much, I will speak to you soon." She smiled sadly as she walked out, making her way slowly to her car, shaking her head as she thought about how far she had let it go, how it all had to end soon.

**A/N Please review! Next chapter will be the Cliffhangers reaction when they see the 'new' Shelby **


	11. Shocks

Chapter Ten

'Changed'

"Look, I know this may be a little scary for you, but I need you to stay calm and don't act shocked when she walks in, okay?" Peter looked at the group as they all nodded, having no idea who or what they were talking about, he was glad when Sophie finally walked in with Shelby.

"Shelby?" Daisy was the first to speak as she walked up to the girl she had been so angry at for not writing to her, taking one look at her and realizing why she had never been able to pick up the pen and write a few simple words. In a few seconds her anger had gone, and she held the tiny girl in her arms,

"I missed you." She whispered, tears running down her face as she felt the bone through Shelby's baggy clothing, noticing the difference immediately between the girl who left and the girl who had come back. She looked back at Scott, he hadn't moved since Shelby had walked in, although he looked like he was going to cry.

"Scott..." She muttered, smiling as he stood up and walked over to Shelby, fear evident on both of their faces. He was scared of what had happened to her, knowing this wasn't the same girl he had fallen in love with, but still feeling that overwhelming feeling when she had walked into the room.

Shelby looked at him as he took a few steps closer to her, suddenly scared of him, what he was capable of doing, taking a few steps back to hide behind Sophie. She noticed the hurt on his face but she had to protect herself, she couldn't let anyone touch her again. Sophie shook her head at Scott, signalling for him to sit back down, watching as he looked defeated when he returned to his seat – obviously longing for a romantic reunion.

She sat Shelby down next to her and Daisy, making sure that she wasn't by any of the boys for now.

"Okay guys, tonight we are going to do something a little different, I want you to all tell Shelby what you missed the most about her..." She bit her lip, passing the stick over to Daisy first,

"I missed our late night talks, the way you felt like you could actually open up to me, I miss the way I felt the same about you." Tears were falling down her face as she passed the stick on to Augie,

"I miss kicking your ass at soccer." He grinned a little and then shook his head,

"I missed seeing you smile." He smiled a little at her, passing the stick to Juliet,

"I missed our arguments strangely enough, it has been quiet without you, I missed that."

"I missed your nickname for me, nobody will take it over for you, but now I guess you can have it back now." Ezra laughed lightly, looking at Scott as he passed it to him,

"I missed you..." Scott answered simply,

"Everything about you, I missed it all." He shrugged, handing it over to Peter,

"I missed that wonderful, yet annoying, sarcastic nature of yours." He grinned over at her, trying to find that little bit of hope in her eyes but there was nothing,

"I missed the way you could make me laugh, no matter what." She squeezed Shelby's hand as she said it, hating to see such a strong girl break, after everything she had been through and this was going to be it.

"Okay, I think we should keep it short tonight, Shelby is probably really tired. I will have to stay with you tonight," She looked at the concern and confusion on their faces as she spoke, how could she tell them that because Shelby was so severely underweight, she could suffer from heart failure at any point?

She took a deep breath, and looked over at Peter, still trying to decide what to say,

"We will need to keep an eye on Shelby until her weight is back up to a certain amount." Shelby looked at her, confusion evident in her eyes,

"So why do you need to keep an eye on her all the time? You never had to watch me during the night..." Juliet bit her lip, looking Shelby up and down, almost jealous of her weight loss,

"Shelby has a BMI of 12.8, a healthy BMI, as most of you should know, is 18.5 at the least. At the moment, Shelby is at risk for heart failure, seizures, she could stop breathing at any time and Peter and I will be able to help her, we can't leave the pressure on everyone else."

"Shouldn't she be in a hospital or an Eating Disorders clinic?" Auggie looked at Shelby, half expecting her to shout at them for talking about her like she is not there, but instead she just sat there, looking at the floor.

"Her mum has already tried, they didn't help her, she got worse. It's going to be okay, Shelby needs all of us to help her through this and I promise you she will be able to get through this." They all nodded, only concern in their eyes as they stared at the shell of the girl that had been left by the man they hated so much right then.

"Come on, let's get to bed." Sophie stood up, causing Shelby to stand with her as she clung onto Sophie's hand, not wanting to let go.

"She is going to be okay isn't she?" Scott whispered to Daisy as they trailed behind the group on the way to their cabin,

"I hope so, we will help her through this." She sighed, looking down at the ground,

"I was so angry at her, I should have known something was wrong. She would write to me every single day for the first month and then nothing..."

"Don't blame yourself, she never should have gone in the first place, it never should have gone this far."

"I wish we could have helped her though, look at her Scott, she is completely broken. The Shelby we all know and love is gone and I am not sure we will ever get her back."

"We will, I know we will, we have to. It's Shelby, she will find herself one day. She just needs to get away from him." He clenched his fists at the thought of someone hurting his girlfriend, making her the shell she was today.

He shook his head as he watched Shelby stumble a little, probably feeling faint as Sophie wrapped her arm around her waist while looking scared, shaking her head at Peter in uncertainty.

"Out of all the people to have anorexia, I would never had said Shelby." Juliet whispered to Auggie and Ezra, staring at the girl up ahead of them, almost jealous of the way she was being treated,

"I mean come on, I am not saying she was fat or anything, but she did eat a lot and she was always making fun of me...."

"What? Are you jealous?" Ezra laughed at her while shaking his head,

"You really are pathetic you know that? People change Juliet, something happened to her which made her stop eating okay? Something bad, she didn't just think being thin would make her dear old mummy love her more." Ezra glared at her as he ran to catch up with Peter.

"You shouldn't be jealous, look at her Juliet... she is very ill." Auggie sighed, grabbing her hand,

"I am not jealous, just curious..."

"Well don't go asking her any questions, not unless she wants to tell you, leave her be." She nodded gently, not really paying attention, just watching as Shelby was being helped up the stairs by Sophie, hardly able to walk on her own.

They all looked at each other, their minds wondering the same thing, _what happened to you Shelby? _


	12. I Care

Chapter Eleven

'Refusal'

Sophie sighed as she looked at the girl sleeping on the bed, her eyes fluttered as she had a nightmare, her fragile body turning every few seconds in an attempt to rid the man of her nightmares.

"Will she be okay?" Daisy hadn't been able to sleep, not after seeing her best friend like this,

"I hope so but it may take a while."

"We will help her through all of this though, right?" Sophie nodded, her hand still in Shelby's as it had been when the girl had managed to fall asleep five hours ago.

"We all will, she needs us a lot more than she ever has."

"I will make sure she is okay, she knows that."

"Get some sleep."

"What's the point? I have to be up in one hour for the infamous stroll in the deep, dark forest. I will take a shower or something." Daisy rolled her eyes, quickly getting up and moving into the bathroom.

"Sophie?" She looked down at Shelby at her faint whisper,

"Hey, you still have a little while left to sleep, everyone else is going on a hike." She smiled, squeezing her hand gently,

"I don't feel too good." She flinched a little as Sophie lifted up her hand to her boiling head,

"When was the last time you ate something?"

"I had a piece of cucumber six days ago..." Shelby shrugged lightly, already feeling tired again,

"God Shelby, you're going to eat today, you will feel better I promise." She bit her lip as the girl shook her head no,

"I'm not hungry."

"Shelby we have the rights to put you on a feeding tube, it's your choice." She tried to sound firm, wanting to cry at what the strong girl had become.

"Something small though."

"For now yes, but then you will be put on a meal plan like Juliet." She sighed,

"Don't compare me to her, at least I don't starve myself for attention of dearest mummy." She spat back, proving that the old Shelby was still in there somewhere,

"Shelby, you both are in the same boat somewhat, you will need to support each other."

"I don't need to be supported, especially not by her. She will probably ask me for weight loss tips or something, or maybe we can be anorexic buddies. It's not going to happen."

"Shelby..."

"She doesn't understand, she never will. I am not starving myself for attention, I am not doing it to be thin, nobody understands."

"Let me try to understand then."

"I just want to control something, anything..." Shelby muttered as tears ran down her face, sitting up slowly as she looked Sophie in the eyes,

"Can I hug you? Will that be okay?" Sophie knew better than to just touch the scared girl with no warning, smiling as Shelby nodded and wrapped her own arms around Sophie's shoulders.

"I miss me." She sighed,

"He ruined everything before, he took everything away from me and I am letting him do it all over again and I don't know how to stop any more. I don't even know if I want to."

"It's all going to be okay, I promise you. Step by step, okay? We will focus on food first," She brushed a hair out of Shelby's face, and smiled at her,

"We need to get you up to a healthy weight."

"I want him to go away, I want to forget about him but I can't. Make him go away Sophie." She whispered, looking down at her hands as she felt Sophie wrap her arms around her shaking body once more,

"I just want to forget."

"I know you do, but you're safe now and we won't let anything happen to you."

"What if he gets ill again and I have to go home?"

"From what I heard that's not going to happen, your mum won't let you go back while he is still there."

"I hope not." She shook her head, quickly wiping away her tears before Daisy walked into the room,

"You're awake early."

"So are you."

"I did miss you, I was worried and a little angry when you stopped writing but now I know why." Daisy quickly walked up to her best friend, taking her in her arms as she rubbed the crying girls back,

"I won't let you down ever again, I will make sure nothing bad ever happens to you. I just want you to be okay again."

"I do too."

"Do you need help getting to the bathroom and getting changed and stuff, I don't mind. I know you would do the same for me?"

"Sure.." She looked at Sophie who nodded, knowing the two best friends would always look out for each other.

"I need you in the medical room after you get ready, Daisy are you okay to bring her? I need to shake your heart rate..." Daisy nodded, helping Shelby's weak body out of the bed,

"Anything in particular you want to wear? Although there is not much choice in here." Sophie laughed a little at the baggy jumpers, hoodies and jogging bottoms.

"I don't mind." She said, reaching out for the hoody, and a pair of jogging bottoms.

"Thanks." Walking with Daisy into the bathroom slowly as her body seemed to get weaker with every step.

~ .. ~

"Arms over head." Daisy grinned after Shelby finished washing her face, having been to weak to make it into the shower.

"Fine." She muttered, ignoring Daisy's gasp at the first sight of her tiny body,

"You need to eat something. I can see all your bones, you look like a skeleton." Shelby shrugged,

"Exactly what I want to look like then." She slowly took of her bottoms, ignoring Juliet as she walked into the bathroom, rubbing her tired eyes,

"I don't care what you want to look like, you're going to eat whether you like it or not." Daisy snapped at her, the pain flashing in her eyes as she looked at her best friend, the shadow of what had left her six months ago.

"You can barely stand on your own, you can't do anything on your own, is this how you want to live?"

"Well I don't plan on living that long so yeah." Shelby snapped back at her, anger flaring up in her eyes as they both chose to ignore Juliet's requests of using the shower.

"How dare you come back here if you're planning on leaving me again! How dare you!"

"Why do you even care? Nobody else does. Nobody wants to help me, nobody stopped him..." Shelby finally broke down, falling to the ground as tears dropped down her pale face,

"I care because I am your best friend and I will never let anything happen to you again. Look, a lot of money has been left to me after my mothers death, when we both get out of here I will make sure we have somewhere to live... together. I will make sure he, or anyone else for that matter, never hurts you again."

"Promise?"

"I promise, you will be safe from now on but you need to help me as well, you need to make sure you're okay enough to be able to get out of here with me."

"I will." She smiled as Daisy wiped away her tears, helping her stand up again and get her clothes on, still ignoring the other girl in the bathroom,

"You look terrible."

"Gee thanks." She rolled her eyes as Juliet's presence finally came to her attention,

"You said the same thing to me when I first came here."

"And?"

"And you look a lot worse than I ever did."

"Again, gee thanks." Daisy shook her head,

"Just leave it Juliet, we don't need your help." Grabbing Shelby's hand and walking out of there slowly so Shelby wouldn't collapse,

"Come on then, lets go check on that heart of yours." She winked, still grinning as they walked out, leaving Juliet alone.


	13. Unconsiousness

Chapter Twelve

'Unconsciousness'

Shelby looked down at the food in front of her, glad Daisy had picked it for her, knowing she would have walked out if she had to do it herself. She sighed as she bit her lip, almost forgetting how to pick up a fork, she hadn't done it in so long.

She could see Sophie and Peter on the other table, watching her, she could feel everyone's eyes on her as she looked down at the plate, her hand shaking as she thought of breaking the cycle she had made for herself.

For her it was not about being thin, it was not about control, it was not about fading into the background. No, for her it was about dying, killing herself the only way she couldn't fail. And now it was all going to come to an end, she would eat and she wouldn't be able to stop again, she would eat and then everything would come to an end. She would eat and she would feel like there were reasons to live again, she would eat and she would stop hating herself.

Daisy sat across from her best friend, taking a bite from her food but not taking her eyes off Shelby. She sighed when she thought about how long she had just been staring at the food in front of her, this wasn't right, this shouldn't be Shelby, this shouldn't be happening.

Scott looked at the girl he loved more than anything, the way she was refusing to eat, he couldn't believe this was happening. He knew things were bad at home, he, like Daisy, had read the letters. They both knew that something was going wrong there, and now look what had come back to them. Look at what one man had managed to make of the strong girl that he had met a year ago.

Shelby looked up at everyone, wondering what to do. Should she eat like she knew she should? Or should she carry on her suicide trail? She never had to go back to Walt, she would never have to see him again, Daisy said so. But if she was still ill, then Sophie or Peter would never let her go back home if she was told to again. She sighed, pushing the plate away and standing up with great difficulty.

Sophie was first at her side, she was the first one to catch her as she fell. Peter was the one who grabbed the now unconscious girl, lifting her up easily and taking her out of the cafeteria. Scott got up to follow, stopped by Auggie. Nobody stopped Daisy though, she ran out after the three, tears falling down her face.

"She will get better, won't she? I mean I eat now..." Juliette looked down at her cereal, shrugging her shoulders as she looked around the table.

"I hope so, I really hope so." Ezra mumbled, pushing away his own plate, none of them no longer felt like eating after seeing how the girl who had always seemed to be the strongest out of all of them, had crumbled.

"We should go get ready, there is no way we will be allowed off this hike." Auggie broke the silence after a while, standing up and nodding at the others.

~ .. ~

"What's wrong with her?" Daisy cried, her arms wrapped around herself as she saw Peter lay the ghostly white girl on the bed,

"Can you go get the doctor?" He asked Sophie, watching her as she ran out and then looking down at Shelby.

"Peter..." Daisy didn't bother to hide her tears in front of him, she couldn't stand seeing her friend like this, it hurt too much.

"I don't know, she hasn't eaten in so long... she is severely underweight... she is in danger of having a heart attack any day now." He muttered, while fussing over Shelby.

"Can I stay? Please Peter, I am not trying to get out of the hike, Shelby and I will go on one when she gets better, please, I am begging you. I can't leave her like this..." Peter nodded,

"Only you though." She nodded, kneeling by Shelby's side and grabbing her hand, silently praying for her.

**A/N Drop me a review, telling me what you think. Should Shelby have a heart attack then? Up to you guys! :) **


	14. Medical

Chapter Thirteen

'Dealing With Your Demons'

A/N This chapter is mostly medical based!

So yeah, be warned.

Daisy refused to move from Shelby's side, watching as the doctor spoke to Sophie after Peter had to go on the hike with the rest of their group.

"What is it?" She whispered after the doctor walked out, talking on her phone. Sophie shook her head,

"She is severely malnourished, she hadn't been getting enough vital vitamins, so the doctor is going to prescribe some vitamins for her. If she carries on the way she is, she is increasing her risk of respiratory infections, kidney failure.. she could have a heart attack, she came extremely close today and it could even cause death." Sophie took a deep breath, trying to find a good way to explain all of this to her.

"She is going to get an IV inserted in the minute, we can treat her from here but if this does get any worse, then she will be put in the hospital and she may not be able to return here." Daisy nodded,

"See these dark circles under her eyes?" Sophie pointed lightly to the massive circles underneath the girls eyes, Daisy nodded, biting her lip,

"It's an indication of iron deficiency, the reason she collapsed was because of malnutrition and dehydration. Look..." She lightly pinched Shelby's arm, releasing and watching as she skin slowly bounced back, she did the same to her own skin, watching it bounce back a lot quicker,

"That's a sign of severe dehydration, as is her rapid, weak pulse, and feel her hands? Feel how cold they are?" Daisy nodded, tears falling down her face,

"The light, blue tinge to her lips and when she collapsed, we should have known earlier, we missed everything because we didn't know what we were looking for."

"Was Juliette this bad when she first came in?" Sophie shook her head,

"From what I heard, she wasn't this bad, she had just come out of hospital."

"At the moment Shelby is on vitamins, iron supplements for her anaemia, anti-depressants, she is going to be on an IV tube until she is better and if she still refuses to eat then the doctor is going to put her on a feeding tube. She is also going to have to be watched all night, and put on a heart monitor only when she is sleeping because she is suffering from heart arrhythmia."

"But she will be okay as long as she starts eating again, right?"

"Yes, but it's not just about that, we're going to have to work on the psychological factors that led to this, and that may take a lot longer than the physical side of it." Sophie sighed,

"We all know what led to this, it was that bastard you let her go home to."

"You know we didn't have a choice."

"You could have done more, but instead the two of you let her go and then forgot all about her. Are we that disposable to you?" Sophie knew that Daisy was angry, and somewhat right, they hadn't forgotten about her but they could have done more to get her back, they could have done more to make sure she stayed in the first place.

"I wish I did do more, we just need to be here for her now, okay?" Daisy nodded, gripping her friends cold hand in her own,

"I am never going to let anything happen to her ever again." She muttered, Sophie looked at her understanding how she felt.

"Me neither." She whispered, stroking Shelby's blonde hair as she slept, waiting for the doctor to come back with the IV she desperately needed.


	15. Turning Point

Chapter Fourteen

'A Turning Point'

Shelby opened her eyes slowly, looking around the room as she did, trying to concentrate on the face she could just make out.

"Shelby?" She smiled at the voice, her best friend didn't hate her for not eating, she didn't think so anyway.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, a tear running down her face, lifting up her arm to meet Daisy's.

"Don't worry, you're going to be fine soon. I promise you." Daisy tried to smile at her friend, smoothing a piece of stray hair out of her face. Sophie looked on at the two, hoping that friendship would be enough to pull Shelby out of the depression she found herself in,

"Everything is going to be okay." Daisy whispered, squeezing Shelby's hand gently, Sophie nodded, going up to the bed to check on the IV tube.

"Shelby, you were severely dehydrated and starved. That's why you collapsed, while you were out the doctor put this IV tube in for now but if you don't eat soon then she will waste no time in putting a feeding tube in. You haven't been here for long and already you have lost four pounds, you weigh 78lbs now." Shelby nodded, biting her lip,

"I didn't mean to." She whispered,

"It's so hard... every time I look at food all I can think of is _him_ and how dirty he made me feel. I can't think about anything else when I look at it all, I want to die and I don't know how to stop myself thinking that."

"We will work on that, it's going to be fine." Daisy looked up at Sophie, worry evident in her eyes,

"Okay, Shelby, you can move around with that thing if you want?" Shelby nodded, sitting up with the help of Daisy and Sophie.

"You're going to have to eat, even if it's something small." Sophie smiled, helping her out of the bed,

"This can be moved around," She said as she wrapped Shelby's fingers around the metal pole of the IV drip. Shelby nodded, taking a small step forward as Daisy clung onto her other arm.

"Is there anything you want?"

"Other than Horizon gruel?" Shelby laughed quietly at Daisy,

"I don't mind." She said, smiling at Daisy as she squeezed her arm in encouragement.

"Toast?" Daisy suggested,

"Sure." She whispered, still uncertain of this, at least with the feeding tube she could close her eyes and pretend it wasn't happening. With food she had to look down at it and remember him, his words,

"_Are you really going to eat that kitten?" Shelby looked up at Walt as he walked into the kitchen, she stared back at the food in front of her and sighed, her body shaking as she felt him behind her. _

_  
"Leave me alone." She muttered as he wrapped his grubby arms around her waist, _

"_You're getting a little round around the edges baby, I would watch that if I was you" He said, turning her around to face him, leaning his face in to kiss her roughly on the lips. She nodded, turning back around to put the cereal in the sink before running up the stairs._

_She looked in her bedroom mirror and sighed, maybe if she was nothing but skin and bone then he would hate her, maybe he wouldn't find her attractive any more, maybe. _

_She sucked in her stomach, lifting up her top and sighing. She wondered when she had become just like Juliette, she had never wanted to be this person but it was the only way she was going to control anything in her life. She couldn't think of anything else she could control, she wasn't able to stop him coming into her bedroom at night, she wasn't able to stop her mother going to work, she hadn't been able to control him hurting Jess. There was nothing she could, except this. _

Shelby sat down slowly, ignoring the looks she was getting from those in the other groups. She looked around the table where she had sat so many times with her friends, kind of glad they were still on the hike instead of watching her like Daisy and Sophie.

She bit her lip as she picked up the piece of toast, tears dripping down her face as she heard him in her head.

"_You're getting so thin Shelby, you know I don't like that. We need some meat on your bones." She shuddered at his voice as he lay on top of her, she smiled a little though, no he didn't like those horribly thin women so maybe he wouldn't like her any more and he would stop. _

"Shelby, I know why you're doing this but I promise you that nothing is going to send you back to him, not even your mother this time. And even if she tried I would fight till the very end, it's not going to happen. He's not going to hurt you any more, whether you starve yourself or not." Sophie put her hand on top of the shaking girls and smiled at her,

"I promise you that eating is not going to change anything, you will still be away from him and no matter what you have all of us, and from what I have heard you're never going back there if Daisy has anything to say about it." Daisy nodded, looking down at her own food as she watched her best friend struggle to even take one bite of the piece of toast in front of her,

"Please Shelby." She whispered, dropping her spoon as she reached out for Shelby's hand, gripping it tightly as Shelby nodded, that look of determination in her eyes that they both recognised immediately.

Daisy grinned as Shelby closed her eyes and took a small bite of the toast, she chewed it slowly but eventually swallowed it. A look of triumph on her face,

"Good girl." Sophie whispered, smoothing the back of Shelby's hair as she spoke, looking down at the food,

"Just the one piece if you want, and then we will go back to the bedrooms okay?" Shelby nodded, closing her eyes again to hide the tears that were forming in them, she could still hear him but she tried replacing his own words with that of Daisy's and Sophie's. She knew deep down that they were the ones who were right, not the man who abused her for as long as she could remember. Not him. She took her next bite, thinking about Scott, Daisy, Sophie, Peter.. anybody else but him. Slowly she found it was working, just don't think about him, she kept repeating to herself.

"**What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." **


	16. Scott

Chapter Fifteen

'Scott'

Scott kicked the leaves at his feet, he didn't want to be stuck on the stupid hike, he wanted to be sitting next to his girlfriends bedside and letting her know how much he loves her, how much he cares. He wanted to be the one to let her know that everything was going to be okay, he should be the one holding her hand. But instead, he was stuck in the middle of nowhere, walking to the middle of nowhere.

He kicked a nearby tree in a sudden burst of anger, how dare Peter make him go on this stupid walk when Shelby could be dying? Why would he do that to him? He may never see her again,

"Way to look on the bright side Scott." He muttered to himself, sitting down before he could damage anything else around him or on his body, he was only glad they were heading back today so he could ignore all the rules about going into the girls bedroom and let her know he was there for her. He hoped she knew he had been forced into this stupid thing, and if he had the choice he would have been there for her.

"Scott!" He groaned as Peter ran towards him, a light smile playing on his lips, Scott couldn't be bothered with another explanation as to why he had to come and Daisy had to stay behind.

"That was Sophie, Shelby woke up and she ate something." Scott tried to hide the smile on his face, still trying to ignore Peter, the man was more like a father to him so it was annoying to be in a mood with him but he had been doing well the past two days.

"Shelby was asking for you so we're going to head back a little earlier than planned." Scott grinned that time, getting up quickly to run back to the camp-site to pack.

"Scott, she's strong. She will be okay." Peter said, grabbing him before Scott could go anywhere. Scott nodded,

"I know." He smiled, turning away from him to grab everything as Peter explained to everyone that they were leaving sooner than they had originally thought. Scott wondered if Shelby would be on the next hike with them, it had never been the same without her, there were hardly any stupid arguments which they would laugh about afterwards, he missed her sarcastic comments as they walked through the mud, he missed her.

~ .. ~

Shelby sighed, looking at the book she held in her hands, she couldn't really make out the words, she was thinking about Scott and if he still wanted to be with her despite the new problems she had come back with.

"Shelby?" She looked up, grinning when she heard his voice,

"Scott." She whispered, sitting up a little in her bed, he looked from her to the IV tube running out of her pale skin, she shrugged,

"Just to keep me hydrated for a while." She muttered, he nodded,

"It makes you look fragile, I guess I should get used to it or something." He sighed, walking up to her, sitting on the edge of her bed,

"I missed you."

"I missed you too." She looked down at the blanket, playing with the edges, looking up at Scott when he put his hand on top of hers.

"You're amazing, and I don't care about this, any of it. Well I do, because you're hurting yourself.. but it doesn't matter...." She laughed, interrupting him as he looked at her, confusion in his eyes,

"You're rambling.." She said, shaking her head as she turned her hand around so they were palm to palm, he nodded, laughing as well,

"I just want you to know that I love you despite all of this."

"I love you as well."

"And I am here for you, but I just need you to know that I don't want you to do this to yourself any more. You deserve better, Walt isn't going to come near you any more, I promise you. If I even see him I don't know what I will do... but I promise you that there is no more reason to be scared. We are going to protect you no matter what it takes.." She nodded,

"Scott?"

"Yeah...."

"This is going to sound stupid, but can you hold me for a little while, just while I fall asleep." She blushed, looking down at their hands,

"Of course I will." He grinned, moving up the bed to make sure he wasn't laying on the tube as he wrapped his arms around her tiny body,

"I don't want to do this any more. I promise, I just need to work on some stuff and I will be back to my old self soon." She whispered, he nodded,

"I know, take all the time you need, I will still be here." She smiled, closing her eyes.


	17. Moving On

Chapter Sixteen

'Moving On'

Shelby looked down at the food in front of her, still trying to focus on everyone else instead of the man that was still in her head. She knew not to listen to him now, and she tried hard not to but she knew it was going to be difficult for a while. Her psychologist had explained that to her, she told her that she needed to focus on those who made her feel good about herself, those who loved her more than anything else. She needed to think about the words and the faces of those who would never hurt her and soon the pain would stop.

Shelby had been at the only place she could ever call home for over three weeks now, her psychologist drove out twice a week from the hospital, something she was glad for. She needed the outside contact, she needed someone who wasn't biased to tell her that it was all going to be okay and that recovery was a long process. She needed that.

She sighed again, picking up the fork and playing around with the food on the plate before taking a bite, she could feel eyes on her but she refused to look up, knowing if she did she would probably go mad and walk off. She knew that wouldn't solve much.

She took another bite, still refusing to look up, eyes burnt into her and she hated the feeling of being watched, but it was something she knew she would have to live with for a while now. After a few more bites, she looked up at Sophie, her eyes asking the question that both of them had been waiting for,

_Is that enough yet?_

Of course, it wasn't enough. She asked the same thing every time and Sophie would shake her head, looking down at her own food. Shelby was glad to be around Sophie most of the time, she was the only one who wouldn't stare at her and would wait for Shelby to look up before saying or doing anything to her. She knew it was better that way, but she couldn't bring it up.

She had noticed how much she had changed, which meant others would have noticed it as well. She wouldn't speak unless spoken to, her sarcastic comments seemed harder to come out with than they did before, and in group she would go bright red and look down at the floor when asked a question. She would often find herself staring into the mirror and asking herself where did Shelby go? She would stare into her eyes and shake her head, she knew where she went, but when would she come back?

He was gone now, so why didn't the Shelby everyone seemed to love so much come back? She could see the pain in her eyes, she knew everyone else saw the same thing, her blue eyes were now a light grey, reflecting her mood constantly.

She didn't feel comfortable here any more, she didn't want to go back to the hell she was forced to call home, but she didn't want to stay in the only place she was made to feel safe.

She hated being here, she hated everything that reminded her of the Shelby that used to be. Her friends would look at her and wonder where she was, they would look at her when she did or said something that was so unlike her old self. She hated catching their glances of worry, the way they would look at each other as if to say, what the hell? When is this shadow of our former friend going to go away, when will our friend come back?

She hated looking at Peter and Sophie when she had to spend time alone with the two of them, and sometimes she would even catch their eye as they stared at her across the table. She would look at them during their 'sessions', the way they would try to sympathize with her, the way they would try to help her even though they never could.

She hated being in the place that reminded her the most of who she was before, just like she used to hate being at home because it used to remind her of what she could have been. She hated everything and everyone, including herself.

She knew she had to get away. She just knew it. She also knew that before she did she would have to recover, give everyone the hope that she would be okay. She knew that she would have to go far away, she knew that she wouldn't be able to stay in contact with anyone if she was going to make a new her.

And that's when she decided, as she looked down at the bowl of soggy food in front of her, that she was going to get away from this nightmare she called a life. Not only was she going to get away, but she was going to be a new person. She was going to change her name, her personality, she was going to change her life.

She bit her lip in thought before taking another bite, her head still down as she thought. And she never knew how it came to her but then she decided who she was going to be,

**Jennifer Jareau. **

**A/N I don't know when this became a crossover with Criminal Minds, I just decided as I wrote it. So yeah, here it is. **


	18. A New Me

Chapter Seventeen

'A New Me'

Shelby sighed as she looked at Sophie's face, and then back down at the scales. She for on knew she was never going to graduate if she didn't get to a healthy weight soon but it was just coming so slowly. No matter how much she ate – which in all fairness wasn't much at the moment as her stomach was still too small to take larger amounts of solid food. But she still ate a lot more than when she started out, she didn't understand why she couldn't seem to get past 90lbs. She only knew of one good thing that came out of this; She didn't have to go on hikes. Even though sometimes she found herself feeling left out when the rest of the group would go out and then talk about it, but it gave her time to sit there and plan her new life.

She smiled every time she would think about the person she was going to become. She already knew that when she graduated she was moving to L.A with her dad, she had already phoned him and he had agreed. She was going to change her name while she was there, something else her dad agreed to after she explained herself.

Then she was going to get a scholarship, probably for sports and then go to university. She had everything planned, Jennifer Jareau is an only child, she lives with her happily married parents in Pennsylvania. She didn't know why she picked that, but it seemed to fitting to the character she had started to make up in her head.

She was intelligent, confident and happy, she was everything Shelby wasn't. She was normal, she wasn't abused, she wasn't a whore, she was just a girl who grew up like any other. She was anything as long as she wasn't Shelby.

People would respect her, they would see her as the popular, happy girl she was going to be. They wouldn't look down on her and her family, thinking that they were just the scum of the town. It wouldn't happen any more, she wasn't going to be that girl.

She stared down at the name she had written down in the pages of her diary a few times, smiling down at it. Jennifer Jareau was her chance of a new life, Jennifer would be perfect. Jennifer Jareau, she kept repeating it to herself, trying to get herself used to it.

She knew it wouldn't be long until that day, the day she was able to leave this place, the day she wouldn't be able to even think about Shelby any more. Shelby was disgusting, she was a whore, she was a horrible person. She wouldn't exist for much longer. She could close her eyes to this life and open her eyes in a new one.


	19. Four Months Later

Chapter Eighteen

'Four Months Later'

Shelby grinned at Sophie and Peter as she jumped off the scales, the whole group was exactly one week from graduation and she had finally hit 105lbs.

"Does this mean I am okay to leave?" She heard the eager in her own voice, hoping they wouldn't take it the wrong way,

"Yes, it does." Peter was surprised at the progress she had made, neither of them aware of her plans to disappear off the face of this earth as soon as she left this place. She didn't want to tell anyone just in case they wanted to look for her in the future. It was best if she was gone all together, it was better for everyone, including herself.

"Can I phone my dad?"

"Your mum phoned, she was going to pick you up..." Shelby cursed herself silently, she had forgotten about her mother,

"Don't tell her where I am going, you can't do that, just tell her I have everything sorted, please?" Sophie reluctantly nodded, wondering what the girl was up to,

"You know Walt is gone don't you?" Shelby sighed,

"You don't know my mother Sophie, he will be back soon. Which is why it's best for me to go with my dad for a while until I finish school." Peter nodded,

"Why don't you want your mum to know?"

"You two ask a lot of questions and because if she knew then she would want to bring me back home, and I just want to move on." In more ways than one, she silently added, rolling her eyes as she folded her arms over her chest,

"Can I phone him then?" Peter nodded, handing her the phone from his desk,

"Thank you." She grinned, dialling the number she had memorized by now, smiling when she heard his voice on the other end,

"Daddy?" She said, ignoring the other two people who still hadn't left the room,

"I made it to my goal weight, I can graduate now. Are you okay to pick me up?" She listened to the voice on the other end, her smile widened as she heard what he had to say, she was kind of worried that he decided he didn't want her but when he promised her he would be there she knew it was the truth.

"Yes, that would be great daddy... I love you too, see you next week.. yes here he is.. bye." She turned around, handing the phone to Peter,

"He wants to check with you." She shrugged, biting her lip as they both spoke.

"Yes, she is doing really well... no I don't think any of that is going to be much of a problem any more. Yes, I really appreciate you for doing this for her, it's a wise choice... She's an amazing girl sir, yes I look forward to meeting you too... bye for now."

"Can I go now?" Her smile still wasn't gone, as she ran out after they both nodded.

"She's happy."

"Her dad is a good man, he is going to take care of her, she's going to be fine."

"At least that's one person we don't have to be worried about." Sophie walked up to Peter, kissing him gently on the lips,

"I hope she still calls though, I will miss her." She whispered, her head on his chest, he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Yeah, it would be good to know how she is doing."

~ .. ~

Shelby looked at herself in the large mirror, patting down the dress she wore, admiring her new figure. She wondered how much longer it would take her dad to stop calling her Shelby, he understood, he understood better than she thought he would and he agreed with her. The change of name would do her good, change was always good.

It was graduation day, the day she had been waiting for. She knew that her goodbyes would probably be the only real ones, but she wouldn't cry. They were Shelby's friends, yes, they were amazing but they knew all about Shelby. She would just have to pretend that she didn't know them, she would have to forget about them – sacrifices would have to be made.

She grinned at herself,

"Hello my name is Jennifer Jareau." She said to herself, looking at herself in the eyes,

"Jenny..." She whispered, biting her lip,

"JJ." She grinned, yes JJ. That was perfect. She sighed again, looking at herself before turning around knowing that when she said goodbye, when she turned her back on Horizon, she would be turning her back on Shelby Merrick as well.


	20. Turning My Back

Chapter Nineteen

'Turning My Back'

Shelby looked out of the window of her dads car, a tear finding it's way down her pale cheeks. She sighed loudly, smiling at her dad as he put his hand on top of hers,

"You're doing the right thing baby." He reassured her,

"I know... I mean I hope so. I just want to forget, and I actually want a life when I am older and as this, as Shelby, I won't be able to have that." He nodded,

"I understand, it's going to be hard calling you Jennifer though." She grinned,

"I am going to have to get used to it, I like the name JJ..." She said, her dads second name was Jareau, which is where she got it from, the name Merrick was associated with Walt in a way. She hated anything to do with that life, she wouldn't keep any of it. For the first time ever she found herself glad that her dad hadn't been around, he was too busy with his job and he was too far away from them, it was a good thing now because otherwise she wouldn't be able to live with him if he had been around. She would have been all alone and she probably wouldn't have had the guts to do this.

She looked at him, surprised by how much she looked like the man she had grown up to resent for leaving her. Now she owed him everything, he was the one who had sent her to Horizon and she realized now that he did the right thing by her, and now he was taking her home with him, just like she had always wanted. He was finally going to be the dad she had always wanted, and he was finally going to be the only man apart from Peter who wouldn't abuse her or use her for sex.

"This is going to be great, I only wish I had retired a little sooner, it could have prevented so much." He looked down at his hands as he drove, he was ashamed that he had let his daughter down so much. He should have been there to save her, he should have been able to prevent what had happened to her. He hated the fact that he had put his career before his only daughter, he hated Walt even more though. It took everything he had in him to stop himself going to that house and killing the man who had hurt his daughter so badly.

"It doesn't matter daddy, you're here now." She smiled at him as he nodded,

"It never should have happened though."

"Well now I can pretend it didn't..." She whispered, he wondered if he was doing the right thing for her, he didn't believe it to be right for her to suppress the memories that had made her who she was today but he knew that as a seventeen year old she had the right to choose what she wanted to do,and if she wanted to change her name and if she wanted to ignore all the past then he should let her. He had let her down too much for the past seventeen years for him to deny her one wish. And if there was one thing he knew about his daughter, it was she hated her life and the thing that hurt him the most but also something he could understand, was the fact she hated herself. He wasn't about to tell her that she had to stay as Shelby Merrick, he wouldn't do that to her.

"Things are going to be okay from now on, is it okay if I go shopping or something? I need new clothes..." She blushed at the thought of asking him for money, she knew he had plenty of it but it felt weird to ask him for anything,

"Of course you can, do you want Lisa to go with you?" She nodded slowly, Lisa was his girlfriend who she had yet to meet,

"Does she know about me?" He shook his head,

"She knows you as Jennifer, I told her you went to a boarding school and you don't get along with your mother so you asked to move in with me once I retired." She grinned,

"Thank you daddy, that means a lot. I would love to go shopping with her." She looked back out of the window, no more tears running down her face, she knew the memories would still be there but maybe if she pretended enough then they would just go away., Maybe.


	21. Sequal?

**I am thinking about doing a sequal to this. **

**'Living After The Nightmare' **

**Will go in more detail about her recovery and then her life after this story. **

**Please tell me if you would be intrested in reading this, review to let me know :)**

**I will start as soon as I think enough people are intrested**

**Thank you**

**Chelly **

**xx  
**


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